Cities on Return Are Often Strange

How revisiting an old hometown reveals old friends true identity

Cities on return are often strange
Yeah, and now
Every time you blink, you feel it change
And it's been
A long, a long, a long, a long, long-long
You've been my
Favourite for a while

So sings Grian Chatten, lead singer of the Irish punk band Fontaines D.C (look them up and thank me later), in the fourth verse of their song Favourite– my favourite track released in 2024. As a world traveller who has called quite a few places home during the past 10 years I can relate to these lyrics on so many levels.

It just so happens that I recently came back to La Paz, Bolivia– a city I used to call home. But so many things about the city has changed. Most notably with old friends of mine.

Some old friends have turned out to reveal themselves as crooks, and you guessed it, some of the people who had been painted, in my mind, as crooks– well it just so turns out that they have revealed themselves as the good guys. I’m reminded of Warren Buffet’s line: Only when the tide goes out do you discover who's been swimming naked. The time away from La Paz has given me time to reflect on my two and a half years living here. The time component acts as the tide in Buffet’s great quote– Allowing me to filter through all the noise and focus on what is real. Or should I say who of my old friends were the real friends and who were the crooks– swimming naked all the time.

My Story with La Paz

I first arrived in La Paz in 2018 as a 22 year old boy looking for a place in South America to live. La Paz was where I met my wife. La Paz is where I bought my first business– a pub in the tourist area. La Paz is where I learned to deal with corrupt city council workers. La Paz is in many ways where I grew from a boy to a man.

A Young 22 Year old naive version of me in La Paz

Fast forward to December 2024 as I’m back in the city for the first time in two years. Walking the colourful and chaotic streets of La Paz, brings back all the memories. The street corner where a young naive Sebastian bought his first gram of pure Bolivian Marching Powder– That shit will pick you right up by the bootstraps, but do to proceed with care, I don’t have enough available fingers to count the amount of people who I’ve seen lose their lives to the Marching Powder of Bolivia. If you aren’t careful it will become the only thing you live for.

I jump on a cable car– La Paz’s metro system which flies across the city, up and down the mountains, connecting all neighbourhoods with the city centre. I head to what used to be my local park and viewpoint. This is where I would always come to read a book or listen to podcasts whilst enjoying the stunning view of Illimani– the mountain guarding La Paz. Most importantly this is the park where I made my first move to kiss my wife.

The view of Illimani Mountain from the Pub I used to own

The former community leader who vanished

The main thing I think about as I re-explore my old neighbourhoods is; what happened to my old friends and acquaintances? Together with the other restaurants in the tourist area we used to have a football team organised by a true community leader, let’s call him George in this story, the team was called Chocos Locos– The Crazy Blondes, we were a mix of European expats, exchanges students, NGO employees and some local Bolivian friends of ours. George was the guy who tied us all together. He knew everyone– their birthday, what football team they supported, what drink they preferred etc. George would look out for everyone, he would make sure to organize birthday parties, even for the quiet ones in our group. George had his values set in the right place, he demanded a high standard from everyone on and off the pitch. In exchange we would look out for each other, cover for one another if we were in trouble. You know like the Marines, we would leave no man behind.

As I’m now back in La Paz most of my former friends and teammates are no longer around, George included. Their restaurants are closed and new ones have emerged. Some have left due to the recent years of political instability in Bolivia, others have mysteriously disappeared. What happened to them?

In May 2024 I received a message from George saying our friend and teammate, let’s call him Juan, was in intensive care in a hospital in La Paz, after suffering a near death accident. Juan’s family needed help to cover the treatment costs. Like the true community leader George is, he took it upon himself to reach out to all present and former teammates and friends of Juan, asking us all to pitch in, with whatever we could to support Juan’s treatment. I didn’t think much else of it and sent across €100 to support Juan. As I later came to learn, the story was something else. The real story revealed George’s true identity.

This is the story of a real captain, a true community leader, who turned out to be a scammer. But how did George turn into a scammer who used the near death accident of a friend and teammate, to scam just about everyone who had ever met Juan into donating money to help Juan’s family pay for the intensive care in hospital, only to run off with all the money donated– approximately $4000 USD?

Perhaps the answer was there in front of our faces all along? I recently listened to a podcast with Andrew Bustamente (a former CIA spy, known as Everyday Spy on YouTube) in the podcast Andrew mentioned that most people who come off as highly empathetic, people like George, aren’t actually as highly empathetic as they seem, in fact such people despise almost everybody else.

I now ask myself did George actually use the community and our football team the whole time. Were we funding his life in La Paz all the time? George told us he was working online as an English teacher. Now I ask myself who George really was.

See you all in 2025

It’s mind blowing to me, how time removed from a former favourite city helps us see our time living in said city with such clarity… What really happened? Who were the good guys? Who were the bad guys?

As I look to settle into a new hometown in 2025 (more on that in future newsletters) I will keep in mind my lessons learned from revisiting La Paz. I will be able to spot who are the charlatan’s and who are the genuine good guys– or at least so I hope.

As I warm up to a Holiday season with family from both Denmark and Bolivia I wish you all a great Holidays, remember to be grateful for your family and those who are your real friends. Show them love. Cherish your time with them. Let me leave you with the lyrics to the final verse of the fantastic Fontaines D.C song Favourite:

Ah, makes sense when you understand
The misery made me another marked man
And I'm always looking over my shoulder
And each new day
- I get another year older
Shoulder bound to the frame of a door
Tuned into shape like a stone on the shore
But if there was lightning in me
Then you know who it was for

I will see you all in 2025. God bless you all.

Sebastian